This moment in time. Right now.
What is on my heart? Where am I finding my strength? What is worrying me, filling me with anxiety? Where do I need to be honest with myself?
These are questions we regularly ask ourselves. Yes, there is no one time answer. Each moment in time holds its own insecurities, its own hopes, its own joys.
What is on my heart? Where am I finding my strength? What is worrying me, filling me with anxiety? Where do I need to be honest with myself?
These are questions we regularly ask ourselves. Yes, there is no one time answer. Each moment in time holds its own insecurities, its own hopes, its own joys.
Today, my Grandmother, the same Grandmother I just spent Easter with, is going to walk into a room and begin what will end up as eighteen weeks of chemotherapy treatment for lymphoma, cancerous growth within the lymph nodes. The details that had led up to this treatment were for a time hidden from me and my younger siblings. The removing of a gall bladder, an attack within the pancreas, acute bouts of pain, and then the discovery. It's kind of scary. But God is good. The growth is confined to that one area, and it is a cancer that is familiar to doctors. But that doesn't make it easy for my Dad, my little siblings, myself. In this moment in time I can't help but be filled with worry, hoping that her body will respond favorably to the medicine, that my Grandfather will remain strong. I know that whatever has come to our family has first slipped through God's loving fingers, but that doesn't mean I am void of all worry. I ask you, my blog readers, to pray for my Grandmother. It is has been a rough few months for both my Dad and my Grandparents, following so closely the death of my Uncle. Please ask God for wisdom for the doctors, physical stability for both of my Grandparents, and most importantly that we would be able to use these situations as a furtherance of the gospel. In every situation we have an opportunity to share God's character, to comfort others, and to await the hope of heaven. These are the worries that fill my heart at this moment in time.
Tomorrow, I leave for a speech competition. I will walk into at least twelve classrooms and speak about America's need for revival. how Christians should respond to the worries that fill our culture. I will defend and explain my faith, and I will be asked to speak in the moment. There is pressure from within myself. I have had a successful season thus far. What if I don't do well? Am I finding my identity in the trophies and medals that sit on my shelf from this season? If I am pouring my time and effort (and my parents time and money) into this, then shouldn't I want to do my best? Absolutely yes. But I know that if my best includes hurting others feelings, or beating myself up, or acting in a manner that would not glorify God, then it is of no value, and the speeches I give about my God are empty. I have done the hard work, it should seem to follow that I would want to reap the rewards, and yes, I do, but only if I do my best unto the glory of God. I need to be the kid in the hall who prays for her fellow competitor while they're speaking, encourages others, and does not speak of her own aspirations or achievements. In this moment in time, I am afraid of my own reactions and expectations. I then stand resolved to do my personal best, and when I speak about my Jesus, to speak about Him with my whole heart, to no longer count my physical delivery as worth stressing over, to not leave that room arrogant or crushed. For in due season, I shall reap the benefits that God has intended for that moment in time.
Moments in time.
So precious, so plentiful, so full of opportunities to stand in awe of God, and to realize my own inadequacy.
What is on your mind today? Be still, and know that He is God.
Blessings,
Kaitlyn
Tomorrow, I leave for a speech competition. I will walk into at least twelve classrooms and speak about America's need for revival. how Christians should respond to the worries that fill our culture. I will defend and explain my faith, and I will be asked to speak in the moment. There is pressure from within myself. I have had a successful season thus far. What if I don't do well? Am I finding my identity in the trophies and medals that sit on my shelf from this season? If I am pouring my time and effort (and my parents time and money) into this, then shouldn't I want to do my best? Absolutely yes. But I know that if my best includes hurting others feelings, or beating myself up, or acting in a manner that would not glorify God, then it is of no value, and the speeches I give about my God are empty. I have done the hard work, it should seem to follow that I would want to reap the rewards, and yes, I do, but only if I do my best unto the glory of God. I need to be the kid in the hall who prays for her fellow competitor while they're speaking, encourages others, and does not speak of her own aspirations or achievements. In this moment in time, I am afraid of my own reactions and expectations. I then stand resolved to do my personal best, and when I speak about my Jesus, to speak about Him with my whole heart, to no longer count my physical delivery as worth stressing over, to not leave that room arrogant or crushed. For in due season, I shall reap the benefits that God has intended for that moment in time.
Moments in time.
So precious, so plentiful, so full of opportunities to stand in awe of God, and to realize my own inadequacy.
What is on your mind today? Be still, and know that He is God.
Blessings,
Kaitlyn